"INVENTIONS_001": Futuristic ideas (mostly joking) ================================================== * A backpack that temporarily bonds with the hair on your back (and separates with a push of a button): can carry it just on the hair alone (also helps to remove unwanted hair). * A hairspray that sprays permanent brand new hair on any bald area (the true meaning of the "hair spray"). * A traffic light that allows you to buy green light instantly with a credit card. * A musical feedback system that analyzes your facial expressions and makes selections, tempo, and volume by reading your face. * Music specifically composed for drunk people to keep them high longer and to prevent anger. * What you find online must stay online. * Why heat your entire apartment when our auto-tracking infrared beams will follow your entire body from room to room? Just enjoy the winter naked at home or in your car. * Our company T-shirt listens to your heart, lungs, and breathing patterns. It also reads your alcohol levels, smells your armpits, checks your posture and sweating. It knows who you hug and touch. It feels when your body hair stands up. It takes your chest X-Ray, it emails you wife your GPS coordinates. It knows when you cry ... * A boxing glove with an airbag. * A rubber mug that expands when the drink is in, and shrinks without the drinks. * Our cities are covered by the mushrooms of pollution and smog. Why not to add French perfume in our gasoline so at least it smells like a civilization? * Before trying to be a bad boy, test it in a computer game, you might not like it later. * A smoke party online: nicotine and smoke are shared among friends too via this USB3 smoke-appliance. * A teaspoon with electric connectors that causes adjustable sweet, sour, and spicy tastes with zero calories and one set of AA batteries: just put it on your tongue. * Space Diapers: they vacuum-freeze all the "outcomes" and leave then on the orbit as messages for future generations. * A stupid-O-meter: it asks to click on the attachments for cash rewards. The bigger reward selection indicates higher stupidity. * Instead of a vacuum cleaner use our Automatic Dust Destroyer: it tracks and disintegrates every piece of dust with lasers before it hits the ground. * Windows that show you the views of rich people. * Windows that know what you are smoking. * Windows that read the better part of your mind and display it on the outside. * An organic, genetically modified food where you can choose and change the animal who "produced" it by DNA manipulation. Examples: yogurt of elephant milk, dinosaur stew, dolphin vegetable oil, etc. * A pill against farting that freezes the gases as liquids and releasing them as sweat and tears (scented as orange and mango). * A book that uses all the available channels to penetrate your brain. If you don't read it: it haunts you in your dreams and your fantasies, it comes up on all the TV channels, it answers on all the phone numbers you dial, it is in every email/webpage you read. Even, if you go mad, it will be only madness option ... This way we guarantee that our product will provide you the first-class education that you deserve! * A wireless media player that plays inside human brain directly form the Internet: "It is 11 PM, do you know where your teenager's brain is now?" * What operating system would you prefer to install in your brain: would you rather trust Microsoft (currently known as Nanosoft)? Don't forget your daily wireless patches and updates (reboot is required). * Ask your parents for money while they are rebooting. * If you cannot crack encryption of your kids, they call you a _slow_ parent. Every responsible parent would install our invisible brain-logger and “root-kid” in every kid upon birth. * Junk food (favored by kids) that upon consumption turn into fruits and veggies (favored by parents). * Nano-robots that make you vote in a nanosecond. * A “rocking” chair that gives you a virtual reality ride without actually moving your body, but by creating such sensations. * Taking shower inside clothes: your sweat is re-circulated and released after complete cleaning. Shampoo (made of your excreted body fat) is optional. Perfume is produced by modifying your natural scents. * If you hear voices, it just means somebody hacked into your BOS: Brain Operating System. Call Microsoft. * With overall air quality increasing the definition of "perfume" is evolving to the new levels. Sadly, more previously unknown smells are categorized as "perfume" now. * With the global air pollution we need stronger perfume: 1. To even notice the perfume via our dulled senses 2. To overpower the overall stink of the polluted air 3. To overcome other strong smells we are forced to use because of the #1 and #2 (above). * Gym shoes filled with Helium to reduce their weight to zero. * Shoe pads that completely evaporate while releasing fragrance. * Shoes that teach dance steps by sending directed electric pulses at the right moments along with the music. * Food pieces that organize themselves at the exit in the proper blocks and know to get out by a push of a remote control. * A special water for cleansing human body: 1. The carbonated bubbles reach brain causing its global warming 2. The special water obsessively dissolves all the "dirty" chemicals 3. The centrifuge pushes heavy metals to your head and feet. * Shoes that deploy emergency brakes whenever you approach bad people (it could also be set on "Run Fast"). * Potato chips that get crunchy and hot because they are dipped into the electric saucer. The sauce removes water (for crunchiness) and warms the chips. * A pillow that reads your dream and emails your psychiatrist all the bad ones for analysis. Then, under hypnosis it dictates you positive formulas for your new day. * Stairs that could turn into a slide for kids with a push of a button. * Money that convert in your hands in the currency of the country your are in (auto-changing paper). * If you see blurry faces, it is probably not the faces, but your eyes. * A school blackboard that is wireless: it floats throughout the classroom. * A doctor who practices giving pain to teach patients (also known as a gym coach). * Regular workouts buy you many extra years of healthy life that you are free to waste as you wish. * The best part of a sandwich is where the layers transition. * Mixing coffee and beer creates a new drink that keeps you _focused_ on being _drunk_. * Blessed are those who give to charities. Wise are those who go through the trouble of inspecting the charities for honesty. * A bicycle that can ride on a rope (upside down) like a mountain transporter. * A spray of mist that disintegrates if the drops don't reach the intended target. * An eatable robot. * A fake cigarette with fiber-optics lights at the end to simulate a lid cigarette. * Showing your internal organs on TV is worst than being naked. * Frying meat with a precision controlled laser. The laser engraves the name of the customer and the bill right on the piece of meat. BONUS: Every customer gets a chance for a free laser tattoo on their own skin. * A toilet that flashes the waste back to the future (via a portable time machine). * A hat that rotates serving as a gyroscope to keep people straight when they are drunk. * A programmable apple with download-able taste and texture (and the skin made of LCD). * A Computer Maid: An employee of a remote service center will be cleaning and organizing your computer while you sleep (just like a hotel maid). * Controlling by buttons or voice is old school. Controlling by thoughts will not work for many. Control via Artificial Intelligence in the mode "What would I want if I am not drunk?" * Famous drunk stars are rich enough to hire sober doubles of themselves to server paparazzi. * A street cleaning truck that uses satellite tracking system to find who dropped particular pieces of garbage and mails the garbage to those people with a pollution fine ticket. * A remote DNA tester that quickly identifies the name of the person who dropped a cigarette on a street. * A remote DNA tester to determine who farted. * A remote DNA tester to make sure the fruits and veggies were not in use before sale. * An infrared (night vision) glasses to determine drunk, nervous, and excited people by their infrared glowing faces. * Linguistic analysis of emails to determine what people really think. * Cigarettes with crystallized Oxygen for smoking in outer space. * A building with dynamically expanding corridors and rooms as fast as people walk in them. * A mind controlled house: if you feel dizzy, it starts spinning the entire house in the opposite direction to compensate for your head spinning. * A smart house that will fight for your survival: when you are short on food and electricity, it will steal it from the neighboring houses (especially from competitive brands). * Every DNA contains a unique code: I hope mine does not contain any obscenities. * A hot spice with a wireless control: before and after the spice is consumed it's level of hot can be adjusted by rotating the dial on the wireless remote control. * Since some women (and some men) already have breast implants, why not to equip them with air bags remotely adjusting the size of the breasts for every evening? * A computer game simulating and demonstrating your future outcomes based on your today's decisions. * A hammer with an emergency airbag and a parachute. * A gun that shoots with hard caramel candies temporarily immobilizing the victim in a sugar shock. * A Forever Pen that generates its own ink out of your sweat and the surrounding air pollution. * A Forever Lipstick: It creates a tattoo on the lips that automatically changes color to match the mood: black when angry, red when sexy, etc. * "Nylons" made of fiber optics lid with any color any time. * A zipper with a tiny remotely controlled engine. Warning: if somebody hacks into your zip-engine, your pants will fall. * A eraser that scratches (collects) the surrounding bits of paper to "paint over" the parts that need erasing: if you cannot remove it, paint over with the same. * A back scratcher with electric muscle stimulator at the end. * A covert microphone inside of a cigarette with built-in antenna alongside. Imagine tough men talking to their cigarettes ... * A chewing gum that counts your chewing and beeps if you stop or slow down. * A download-able Virtual Priest that scans your computer for un-holy things and takes your confessions. * Medication that finds its way inside patient even if he/she forgets. * Instead of a medical patch, the medication is slowly injected (through skin contact) via medical: rings, earrings, wrist watches, cigarettes, tampons, and underwear. Also, you can smell your doctor to inhale the proper amounts of medication. * An iPod that can play inside of your brain without any wires (telepathically). * A towel that shaves. * A multi-colored pen that can switch the colors any time later (remote color control). It can also erase the old writing remotely (remotely-controlled / self-destructing / self-aware ink). * A swimming pool where you float on top of strong air jets that simulate resistance and density of water (completely dry swimming). * A GPS-aware pieces of cloth that find each other and stick by design. Later they can re-shape and expand as needed: intelligent pieces that interact with you. Instead of undressing, just push the red button and your clothes will fall on the floor since it is held only by electro-magnetic stitching. * A wireless mouse hidden in your shoe pads. It can also record and display your dance, walk, and run. * A webcam that displays a funny version of yourself and jokes with you. * A Real Time Store that scan the thoughts of the entering customers and has their dream products made by the time they reach the counter. * A software that invents cool products that have no purpose. * A universal material that converts into any product once you download specifications into it (via the Internet). * A food packaging with "legs": when you are done eating, it seals itself and crawls back inside refrigerator. * A stereo that reads your face and plays by your moods. * A pillow with a gentle head massaging built-in. * A pillow that re-grows you hair while you sleep. * A pillow that dry-cleans you head. * A pillow that re-shapes your face according to you specifications. * An eatable book with pages made of soft tortia bread: you can only eat the pages that you have read. The pages detach after you answer the quiz. If you are hungry, read more. * Dealing with "Unwanted Hair": receiving hypno-therapy sessions to love your hair, so it is wanted again. * An acoustic guitar that resonates from pre-recorded guitar sounds when you want them. * Starting a small business on an integrated microchip: the entire company is run on a single chip: on the Internet nobody knows and nobody cares as long as the Input/Output deliver value. * Fixing problems by symmetric breaking: If the left wheel keeps turning to the left, make the right wheel keep turning to the right: these way it _might_ go straight. * A space station that sells jars of clean vacuum to earthlings. With the global pollution clean vacuum will not be easy to find. * A new drink that accelerates blood circulation: it contains nano-robots with little water propellers. * A new drink that helps quit smoking: saliva dissolves any cigarette, so the person has to spit this unpleasant goo. * A new smart beer that knows to go directly to the brain while avoiding the liver. * A little built-in pump to help with urination problems. * A playful DVD player: once loaded with a Playboy DVD it starts winking and crawling to get closer. * Time management software: it freezes the computer clocks for all the people who were going to meet you today while you take a day of vacation. Un-freeze the Universe when you are ready. * Agent 007: An insurance agent that returns your calls 0 times, then 0 times, and then takes a 7-day vacation. * Synergy and Fusion: Corporate terms to describe Misery and Con-fusion of constant mergers. * A fire alarm that stinks so bad that everybody wakes up and runs. * A solar battery running on sun-dried pork. * Producing wood with special wood-making bees (or termites). * Spinning the Earth at very high rate: 1. To make days go much faster (to get more done) 2. To stretch the planet (along the equator) into a flat disk with much more territory to populate. * Correctional Facility: sending bad boys and girls into good schools as ghosts. * Special talking money for those who harass pedestrians for money: the donated money keep begging them to be spent only for good an healthy goods. * An un-crackable encryption: that cannot be cracked even by crypto-analysts on crack (with fuzzy super-computers). * Odor Murder: A new way to fight body odors by using deodorant with anti-allergy mist that makes all the noses around insensitive to odors. * Numbers That Don't Lie: special numbers that come with The Honesty Certificate. Disclaimer: Freshness cannot be guaranteed if they are used in calculations. * A toilet paper that goes all the way with vacuum suction. * A old Epson 24-pin printer (dot matrix) that can pin color tattoos. * Tasting DNA of the kissed ones to know what they are up to. * A blind restaurant chef smells the customers to learn what they ate yesterday and what they like. * How to fall asleep: start reading or listening to Quantum Physics with maximum attention. * A boxing glove that shouts slogans of peace with every punch. * A magic iron that makes everything two-dimensional by squeezing the third dimension. * A sidewalk that turns soft a moment before you fall. * A staircase that sticks to you in case of fall to prevent rolling down. * A bank ATM machine that gives tainted money (with RFID) if the customer doesn't look right. * Bullets that self-destruct midway if the gun is stolen or the action is unauthorized. * Wild animals that become "un-hungry" when people are around. * A garbage can that uses a mix of bacteria (or nano-robots) to digest any garbage into useful raw materials. * Writing secret messages on paper with salty water and reading then with a tongue. * A food storage where veggies fight for survival. The surviving veggies get served. * Reading your cat's food desires to feed the right food. Alternatively (to save money and headache): playing the cat-hypnotizing video clip from the vendor whose cat food you have. Alternatively, giving the cat a treadmill exercise to inspire an appetite. * A mandatory noise-canceling hat for loud people that turns their yelling into whispering. * Dispute resolution by erasing the opponents memory and re-playing it with witnesses and with video. * Helping stupid people by deploying a wearable "smart people tricks" alarm device. * "The Day After" Organizer: the next morning after a drunk party this device reminds the person the basic and necessary facts: name, specie, location, and the level of degradation. * The School of Advanced Lying started a new semester. Unfortunately, the new students were fooled again and lost money. Only later they realized, this was the hands-on class and the demonstration. * A genetically improved fish with spontaneous combustion: it fries itself if caught. * When there is no place to go there are still places to crawl. * A car with soft and sticky bumpers so it cannot be "hit and run". * A flower vase coupled with de-humidifier: this way the flowers always have enough water. De-humidifier can also be coupled with an electric teapot to always have the supply of water for tea. * Automatic windows that melt when it is hot and freeze back when it is cold. * A house that is alive a grows bigger after each rain. * Fire suppression systems that: 1. Reuses the water that missed the target (or is no longer needed). 2. Uses smart heat-seeking water and foam: they are attracted to fire. * Converting VHS videotapes to DVD: a special microwave melts old VHS tapes and bakes new DVDs out of the plastic while converting the video content to the DVD format "on the fly". * Converting your DVDs to Blu-Ray disks: dunk your DVDs into the special blue ink solution (to convert negative to positive), then expose them to intensive ultra-violet laser light for 1 hour (using the X-ray laser from the project Blue Book). * Fighting deficiency illnesses by analyzing your blood for everything it _does not have_: and the best part is: your blood is not needed for this test, since it can only show what it _has_. They simply make your anti-blood by negating your DNA via quantum transpositions and analyze that. * Making vitamins (and other nutritious things) by taking samples from healthy people and cloning them in your new universal microwave / clono-tron. * A portable wearable hardware device videotaping and writing a biography of celebrities in real time. It is a smart device that knows when to shut off and stop recording. It also has a built-in fantasy module with 99 outcomes/interpretations per event. * A broom with self-aware fiber-optic bunch: each fiber seeks and annihilates dust, dirt, and crumbs (via its laser beams) as you sweep. * Fighting eating disorders: any junk food entering the body is redirected to a special area where these carbohydrates and fats are burnt to produce electricity for all the wearable electronics. * Why not to invent pancakes that disintegrate into water and carbon while heating my stomach in winter? * I should be able to charge my iPod with a donut with a proper converter. * Why is my _iron_ made of aluminum and plastic? Today I _aluminum_ my clothes, tomorrow I will flatten the intelligent fiber via a remote control. * In the future we'll eat nano-robots for breakfast. Our cats will eat nano-mice. * In the future we will control our lives with the power of thought. For many of us it will take years to learn to think straight, so it is time to start learning it now. Otherwise, we will break our robots of the future. * The future will be funny: we will be able to start laughing with a push of a button. Doctors will prescribe mandatory fun-vitamins download-able over the Internet. * FOG DETECTOR: Write the word "FOG" with the thin layer of oil on the window. On a foggy day the humid air will cause the water condensation on the widow, but it will not stick to the greasy parts. This way you will see the word "FOG" on a foggy day. * You can further improve this invention without any effort: just look out of the window: if you see fog, you have detected the fog. * STICKY RAVIOLY: You don't need a fork to eat the custom designed sticky ravioli: just extend your tongue into the plate -- the ravioli firmly sticks to your tongue to be transported into your mouth for pleasant hands-free eating. * STICKY LIPSTICK: People who talk a lot are restricted to stay quiet by applying this lipstick: it can keep the lips shut (for a few hours) or it can be sticky enough to make opening the mouth hard: this way the customer will have time to think and will be short. * CHEWING GUM TO CHARGE YOUR iPod: This chewing gum contains piezo crystals generating electricity from your chewing. This electricity will charge your iPod. * HEAT-SEEKING GPS: Every cigarette will be made with a unique heat signature. This way every smoker can be identified and located. * CAMERA-WATCH: This watch takes digital pictures of the watches around you and immediately displays the picture: this way you can see approximate time and your watch looks as good(or exactly) as your neighbor's watch. * A beer can with a compass to help find the way home. * A shovel with a fan on the open end. * A towel that wraps around your body and absorbs water without your effort. * A sock that beeps when it stinks. * A hat with a solar battery to power up your iPod. * A T-shirt that displays the words you say (or your face, or changes color according to your mood). * A home that eats internal and external garbage to build and expand itself continuously. * A modified fat that is attracted to a magnet: after eating sit on this magnetic chair to move your consumed fat to the exit of your butt. * A shoe with sound-canceling microphone and speaker to create the compensating sound of your steps: your steps will be silent. * An anesthetic to partially freeze your mouth to make you speak like a drunk: so your brain will believe you are drunk and will deliver your pleasure. * A chair that sniffs one's butt and beeps if a change of underwear is needed. * A toilet urinal that takes a drug test along with a digital photo. * A door that opens to different rooms depending on the key. * A holographic carpet that needs no washing and cleaning (because it doesn't exist). * An engine running on milk (a baby). * A reversible spacesuit: please don't reverse while in open space. * A banana that keeps growing with the speed of your eating. * A car wheel that sends a mild electric shock if you fall asleep. * A mechanical tooth brush with an MP3 player: it sends music to your ears by vibrating your scull bones. * A shoe that prints your trip report under every step. * Sun glasses that display sun in your eyes in any weather. * A can opener utilizing accelerated rusting technique to open cans. * A spy plane made of digital cameras. * A customized vacuum cleaner for blood-sucking vampires. * A highlighter that makes the highlights glow through the pages, event when the book is closed. * Boxing gloves with built-in airbags. * A beer can that dials 911 once open inside of a car. * An envelope that sticks to the recipient only. * A back scratcher that shaves the back hair. * A perfume that kills insects in the 100 feet circle. * A subwoofer that only rattles the target listener's brain (telepathically). * A sugar-FREE candy that frees the stored body sugar and releases it as a sweat with honey. * A steam room only displaying the steam on the large LCD screens causing psychological sweating. * A lock that only opens after 20 minutes of nagging. * A keyboard that can type only educated words to improve your vocabulary. * A heat-seeking compass that follows hot women and men. * A pen that tells you when you are tired (based on writing, pulse, pressure, and temperature). * An apple that deploys a parachute before falling from a tree. * A mother-in-law with a switch to mother-in-love. * A baby monitor that allows the baby to monitor surrounding and play with the touch screen (also: a tiny monitor for the poor). * A Strange store that hires only strangers. * An anger management hat that fries pancakes while redirecting the angry thoughts. * A calendar that displays your scheduled future (when it is too late to change)! * A paycheck (a Caller ID) the reflects the current mood of your boss. * A text messaging system that notifies you what your boss wants to hear. * An elevator that compliments you on your weight loss (after measuring it). The elevator displays the measured weight of every person as they enter it. * A one-time hypodermic needle that rusts completely in 3 minutes after the first use. * A loaf of bread that inflates with more air for fat customers. * A hydrogen car that also grabs CO2 from the polluted air producing carbonated water for the passengers. * A food inspector who eats his dog/cat food before approving it. * A geostationary satellite that only hangs around with good people. MANY USES OF RUBBER: * A rubber trumpet to prevent head injury from un-grateful listeners. * A rubber TV screen so it can bend for various positions. * A rubber car: to expand as needed and to bounce around the traffic jams. * Rubber speakers: to stretch your bass as needed. * A whistle that measures your alcohol level and whistles the police. * A baby pacifier with a digital thermometer and pH balance analyzer. * A plastic bag that gives expired food bad intense odor and red color to prevent accidental eating. * A USB flash drive that you need to plugin to your toilet to authorize the flush. * A forehead display that displays your true thoughts. * A comb that electrocute fleas. * Scissors that only cut after the password entry. * A helicopter designed to create a windy weather. * A cat dish that purrs. * A spoon that cools down or warms up food according to your preference before to put it in your mouth. * A fork that electrically warms pieces that it touches. * A food processor that also digests your food for you. * Chopsticks with strong magnets at the ends: they will always close in. * A dirt-resistant towel: keep your dirt to yourself. * A re-circulating shower that makes soap bars out of your filtered dirt and grease. You can use your recycled soap for the next shower. * Safe swim trunks: at the sign of drowning one farts extensively in the trunks so the formed gas bubble will lift the swimmer to the rescue. The sound of the farting and the smell will also help to locate the person. * A broom with a radar that scans for garbage and dust. * Ice cream that melts to a pre-defined level by the turn of the cap on the container. * A chewing gum that downloads flavors from the Internet. It also has built-in nano-robots to brush your teethes. * A toothpick that takes digital pictures analyzing for cavities and transmits it wirelessly to a computer. * A pill with an RFID that reports its location in the body and its condition/stage. * A hot tire that melts an icy roads as it goes. * An on-board computer sends an email to the owner's insurance company right before the collision and after (with all the measurements). * An eraser that takes digital pictures before the erasing so it could undo. * Socks that are sprayed out of a can on your feet (no need to wear). * A stylish bag with vacuum suction to stick to any part of your body to free your busy hands. * A computer memory that imitates a forgetful human so you don't feel so bad. * Genetically modified vegetables that can convert in your stomach in any balanced veggie combination that you need (via a remote control). * A highlighter that burns out (eliminates) the highlighted text, to train your memory. * A scotch tape that evaporates under a special light. * A farm fish that is exposed to a good music to inspire happy thoughts to improve their nutritional value. * A jet no-stick frying pan: strong micro-jets of hot air prevent the food from ever touching the bottom of the pan. * A smart cloth that melts down and partially evaporates as it gets hotter. * A bicycle seat that can change the underwear even in motion. * Dollar bills that enlarge when you pet them. * Inventions that get married and have children. * An official seal that smells different every day leaving a unique smell signature on the documents. * A search engine that searches your apartment and your head. * A document that takes a picture of anybody who looks at it. * A super economical shower: it analyzes the image of your body and sends the drops of water only on the dry parts of your body (via guided micro jets, like an ink jet printer). * An eatable glue that bonds a burger/hotdog to its bun. * A cigarette that makes the smoke lighter than the air forcing it to escape up. * A mouse pad that detects your mood by the way you move and click your mouse. * A Mr. Microphone toy that does not hear and amplify any bad words (kids safe). * A laser pointer that leaves red marks by causing pigmentation on photo-sensitive objects (actually paints with red). * A laser pointer that bends over the corners: the laser beam is guided by a fiber or reflected by a mirror. * A drum that turns into a pumpkin if it senses angry neighbors. * A chicken with a built in internal combustion grill. * A workout machine that exercises your body while you sleep. * An accordion that connects to your mouth to help you breathe. * A piano that gives you a Shiatsu massage. * A subwoofer that vibrates your body with music helping to massage, relax, and dance with the rhythm. * A garbage can that does market research on consumption and brands. It also counts your calories and the nutritional value. In addition it does urine test for your cat (by analyzing the cat litter). * A battery that is also an air freshener: this way you battery will always stay fresh. * A shaving laser that burns hair to the ground. * This new pill converts your excess body fat into pure gasoline for your car (extracted via urinal tract). * Eyeglasses that don't show the poor people (designed for the rich). * A digital audio processor that converts the speech of every politician into opera singing. * A digital video processor that converts every news report into a ballet performance. * Because of the time pressure actors are asked to play their roles faster and on the first take. That is why in todays movies everybody is running. * A radio that can decode and play electric pulses of your brain. Have you ever listened to the music of your own brain waves? * Use of lightnings to direct plane navigation: the lightings strikes point to the lading runway. * Play thunderstorm via loud speakers to trigger rain (just like snow avalanches are triggered by loud noises). * An underground wind generator: the underground and above the ground temperature difference causes a constant predictable wind in the tunnel. * Healing any illness should begin from brain (spirit): there will be downloadable spiritual patches that would be plugged into the brain via USB v3. * A copy machine that clones your favorite fruits and vegetables down to the DNA. * Highly directional acoustic speakers (almost like a laser) that send the sound only to the intended listeners (and track them) keeping it quiet for the rest. * Programmable dumbbells that apply anti-gravity to control their weight. * Genetically improved hen eggs with eatable shells: made of calcium, fiber, and vitamins: eat our eggs like apples. * Why not to equip microwave ovens with laser knives to slice pizza and other foods during the microwave use? * Converting the old vinyl records with digital precision: 1. Scan the vinyl record tracks your image scanner with the highest resolution (the waves on the vinyl tracks = the actual sound waves). 2. Translate the analog track into MP3 with optical defect corrections (ignore dust, dirt, scratches). * An anti-stress suit: when a person shakes from a stress, the suit compensates the shaking by shifting the body in the opposite direction (like in the shake-resistant cameras). Calming the body calms the mind. * A swimming pool changing the water density on demand to help learn swimming (by adding and removing some heavy ingredient). * Treating diarrhea by zero gravity ... * An alcohol-level test by blowing on a torch. * A lipstick that stay permanently as the evidence. * Cleaning with dirt: dirt bonds to dirt and then washed out in this bound state. * A skate that can skate on concrete by quickly melting it in the point of contact (similar to steel skates on ice). * A flag that changes itself with a remote control (good for traveling and greeting). * A bench programmed to talk to lonely and old people. * A juicer that wets dry fruits and vegetables before squeezing the juice (technically "Not from concentrate"). * Learning the languages of animals by reading their minds remotely. * Building clones of the Egyptian pyramids from styrofoam (or building them on the Moon to make it easier). * Planning parenthood in digital simulations ... * A mirror that calculates and displays your physical and mental health measurements based on the facial analysis. * A yogurt that is produced inside of your stomach from a fresh milk. * A clock that shows future time with proper scents and sound effects (example: imagine your future vacation while at work). * A gyro-drill that uses rotation of the Earth to drill (while the drill is stationary). * In order to remember you need to forget how to forget. * Speed reading is not recommended for men with premature ejaculation. * Even the most expensive instructor will ask your brain to teach itself. * The best part of swimming is getting a fresh breath of air, not so much the swimming itself.